Gene Simmons earned his notoriety in costume and theatrics, with some notable songs.
As of late, now that the platforms are wearing down and the tongue trick is only impressive to lesbians, he has found this easy, breezy formula for publicity: Instead of making a memorable record (imagine that!) or committing some kind of human deed that warrants attention, he just pulls something out of his ass and spits it out of his face.
Exactly what he says depends on which side of his face he decides to use, then round and round it goes, what comes out, nobody knows. As of late, thankfully, no one has really cared. But, apparently, he’s found a way to fix that.
Combining tremendous disrespect with an extra dose of his signature avarice, and just a little more than a touch of stupidity, Gene Simmons announced that he is attempting to trademark the Horns.
His rationality: “I got it from Spider-Man” as he ridiculously holds up the American Sign Language symbol for “I love you.”
The proper response, however, only requires one finger…
Now, realistically, even if he does pull this off — regardless of the long understanding and legend of Ronnie James Dio walking with his grandmother and seeing her use the symbol to ward off the ‘evil eye’ many moons before anyone else even considered mentioning it, let alone use it – does he think he is going to profit from every single Metal concert in the world?
How does he plan to enforce his right to use, by finding some agents to troll the streets checking for random greetings? How effective does he think this is going to be?
So here, it’s easy to say that the Simmons’ Rambling Roulette wheel has hit a winning number and that’s all this is…again. After all, it’s been a while since he blindly criticized Prince for killing himself and proclaiming Rock is ‘dead.’
But, it’s not just another Simmons Shenanigan; He’s stepping on Dio’s grave and everyone knows it.
The man has sunk to many lows for attention, such as disrespecting women on camera and making himself a fool in forgettable grade-B movies. But, to make a point to attempt to steal another legacy because his own has weakened is below dirt level.
He has not attracted this much attention when he announced that KISS’ retirement would be approaching soon. The world just simply has not cared enough and that is entirely his fault.
If Simmons wishes to re-climb upon the pedestal that he has fallen from, cheap controversy isn’t going to cut it. Metalheads are too smart and too busy for this drama shit. Unfortunately, if he should ascend (or descend) from this earth right now, that’s exactly what he’ll be remembered for, not “I wanna rock and roll all night – and…what?”
– T. Ray Verteramo